omg I messed up

[24Carat]

I am amazed at how many people so flippantly tell someone else to get divorced.

I must say it does sound like there is not much maturity involved so far.

If you love someone enough to marry them, you should be willing to put some effort into the marriage. Give it a couple of days to let your heads clear and have a discussion about what is really going on. Then start the decision process for determining where your marriage is headed.

This isn't 1961, Beaver.

Since when has maturity been a tenet of society?

 

[Yellowjeep]

It's not 1961. REALLY! They are just explaining how a marriage works. 3/4 of the comments on here are acting like cavemen. If she don,t like me drag her out by her hair and kick to curb. Spoken like someone who don,t try in a relationship. You have to figure out EVERTHING together. Plus we,re not getting the whole story, I bet the word gun came up in there relationship when he came home with the gun. And not many people on hear would even get them selfs in that situation. I know if 9 weeks into my marriage I came home with a hooker and said oh I didn't tell you I'm in to that, my wife would go crazy too. I'm not saying bend over and take it but it's about 2 not just you.

 

[RedneckReject]

Just telling someone to give up on their marriage is insane. All possibilities should be exhausted before "giving up" comes in. Not that it matters to anyone, but I've been married and divorced twice. Why? Because my ex husband(s) and I couldn't communicate and we just gave up. We were emotionally immature and did not respect each others opinions and views when it came to something we disagreed on. Fast forward a lot of years and I am in a stable relationship with a wonderful man. We talk about every decision before we make it. Yes, financial things included. You married her. Your money is her money now and hers is yours. I understand this is hard for her because of what happened to her father, but surely she must know that not every gun owner is going to kill themself. If your guns/motorcycles mean that much to you then my suggestion would be to talk with her when you are both calm. Explain to her that these things are very important to you and that SHE is important to you as well. Let her know that you want to be with her but that you two need to find a way TOGETHER to be able to have other things that are important to you even if she doesn't like them. Be firm on your stance without being mean. Let her know how major it is to you but do NOT get angry. Marriage counseling is an excellent idea as it brings a neutral party into the situation to diffuse what could become volatile. Looking back on my past I see that there are so many things I could have done differently. Fortunately I'm currently with a man I adore more than life itself. If I were to have an issue like this with him, I would do everything possible to keep from giving up on him. There is always a way. If you truly love this woman, you need to find that way. Working through this will only make your relationship stronger and it will become easier when you face troubles in the future. Best of luck to you. I hope you two can come to a conclusion that benefits you both.

 

[RedneckReject]

Put your foot down now, or lose your balls forever... Seriously!! Women work like the government. If you give up a liberty, they will ask for another... and another... and another.

You seem to be confusing women with girls. I'm terribly sorry if you've had bad experiences in the past, but it's fairly foolish to think all women work like that. Real women respect their husbands.

 

[Mark 1911]

The best man stands up to give the toast at his friend's wedding.

The best man looked at the bride and said, "Susie, put your hand right up here on the table", and Susie complied.

The best man looked at the groom and said, "Billy, put your hand right there on top of your bride's", and Billy did as requested.

The best man turned to the bride once more and said, "Now Susie, tell Billy that you love him", and Susie looked at her new hubby and said, "I love you Billy".

The best man looked at Billy and said, "Your turn Billy, tell Susie that you love her", and Billy looked at his wife and said, "I love you Susie".

Then the best man turned to all the wedding guests and said, "Folks, you have just witnessed a historic event, "This is the last time in Billy's life that he will ever have the upper hand, or the final word".

Ain't it the truth!

 

[spec4]

We haven't had much clarification from OP on this. I can't get by the fact that she surely was aware he had firearms and a motorcycle prior to the ceremony. We're making a lot of posts based on speculation. Years ago I worked with a guy who filed for divorce one month after the wedding. He was a straight, decent hard working guy. He said the day after the wedding she changed completely to the point of being unbearable. Obviously it happens.

 

[repeter1977]

We haven't had much clarification from OP on this. I can't get by the fact that she surely was aware he had firearms and a motorcycle prior to the ceremony. We're making a lot of posts based on speculation. Years ago I worked with a guy who filed for divorce one month after the wedding. He was a straight, decent hard working guy. He said the day after the wedding she changed completely to the point of being unbearable. Obviously it happens.

Agree, for some strange reason, it does happen. Sadly, my first marriage ended like that, after the wedding she changed, and not for the better, then did not want to work on anything. Takes two to make something work.
Hopefully the OP can figure out whats going on, talk to her, find out what changed and why. Good luck

 

[littletommy]

We haven't had much clarification from OP on this. I can't get by the fact that she surely was aware he had firearms and a motorcycle prior to the ceremony. We're making a lot of posts based on speculation. Years ago I worked with a guy who filed for divorce one month after the wedding. He was a straight, decent hard working guy. He said the day after the wedding she changed completely to the point of being unbearable. Obviously it happens.

Maybe his wife told him no more INGO.

 

[NapalmFTW]

Have you taken her shooting? That cures most of the Girl Gun Haters club I've ever known. My problem with my wife is getting her to put mine down long enough to give me some time with it.

Wife was ambivalent about shooting until she shot my .45... now she wants one of her own.

 

[EvilBlackGun]

Don't run your life ...

... based on YOUR crotch, or on HER crotch so much. It's such a SMALL piece of meat, after all. Usually on sale somewhere. EBG

Maybe his wife told him no more INGO.

 

[darkkevin]

thinkin the OP took some of your advice and is driving around looking for a hog farm and some rope.

 

[EvilBlackGun]

Oh, HELL! are you ever wrong !!!!

My spouse was extremely sweet, loving and compliant -- just as I was with her -- and it was ALL LOVE for 40 years and 6 children. She was a "girl" when we married, and virgin. Then, after 40 years, almost overnight, my "real woman," this witch, came into our house and ruined our lives and separated our love. She said, "My hormones died," but mine did not -- they just got hotter. She doesn't even care what I do, as long as it's outside the house, and WOW there are LOTS of live, young hormones out here, looking good, looking for real respect (don't YOU judge ME.) So, ladies, with all my respect, what would YOU have done if Hubby tried the "died hormone" scam on you? Seriously. I wanna know. I don't think that I'm "fairly foolish." I think she's UN-fair! Get this: "For the family ..." we are not divorced. Some female posters here are VERY level-headed, cool-thinking, and can be snide, but I REALLY want their honest opinions. We are in counseling. EBG

You seem to be confusing women with girls. I'm terribly sorry if you've had bad experiences in the past, but it's fairly foolish to think all women work like that. Real women respect their husbands.

 

[Mosinguy]

Did she know about all this beforehand? If so, GTFO BAIL OUT BAIL OUT BAIL OUT. I've seen girls change overnight like OP describes. GET OUT WHILE THE GETTIN'S GOOD. If she gets pregnant with your kid you are a goner. She will control you. She will have your balls for earrings. She will do whatever she wants whenever she wants because she knows you don't have the nuts to stand up to her. You will never make a decision for yourself again and will surely live in misery until one of you dies. Once again, I've seen this happen before and it is not pretty. No communication will fix her crazy.


tl;dr GET OUT NOW.

 

[littletommy]

My spouse was extremely sweet, loving and compliant -- just as I was with her -- and it was ALL LOVE for 40 years and 6 children. She was a "girl" when we married, and virgin. Then, after 40 years, almost overnight, my "real woman," this witch, came into our house and ruined our lives and separated our love. She said, "My hormones died," but mine did not -- they just got hotter. She doesn't even care what I do, as long as it's outside the house, and WOW there are LOTS of live, young hormones out here, looking good, looking for real respect (don't YOU judge ME.) So, ladies, with all respect, what would YOU have done if Hubby tried the "died hormone" scam on you? Seriously. I wanna know. I don't think that I'm "fairly foolish." I think she's UN-fair! EBG

My ex did the same thing, went from normal, to crazy overnight, that was 9 years ago and the ***** is just getting crazier everyday, she's on her 3rd husband since we split.

 

[drysdaleg]

she asked me tonight, "did you marry the constitution or me?" I was like WTF??? the constitution first! Sorry :-(

Atta boy!

 

[88GT]

My spouse was extremely sweet, loving and compliant -- just as I was with her -- and it was ALL LOVE for 40 years and 6 children. She was a "girl" when we married, and virgin. Then, after 40 years, almost overnight, my "real woman," this witch, came into our house and ruined our lives and separated our love. She said, "My hormones died," but mine did not -- they just got hotter. She doesn't even care what I do, as long as it's outside the house, and WOW there are LOTS of live, young hormones out here, looking good, looking for real respect (don't YOU judge ME.) So, ladies, with all respect, what would YOU have done if Hubby tried the "died hormone" scam on you? Seriously. I wanna know. I don't think that I'm "fairly foolish." I think she's UN-fair! EBG

Divorced him, taken it all, left him with the kids, and partied hard with the pool boy.

Oh, wait, no, that's what selfish asshats do.

 

[Ted]

I married a woman who knew my passion for guns but now she dosent want me to have any. WTFDIDO

She married you for who you are, but now wants to change you.

Seems fairly typical.

 

[Classic]

I've heard it said before that men marry women and hope things stay the same and women marry men and hope things will change. Seems like it has worked out that way for me but may not be universally true.

 

[ocsdor]

9 weeks into the marriage. What is going on here is she is testing you to see who wears the pants in the relationship. Be a man. Be clear. Don't be an ass but be a man and be clear. She knew everything going in. This is how it's going to be.

My wife tried that starting on our honeymoon. The third day in, I threw my ring on the ground and told her we'll end this just as fast as we started it. That straightened her out pretty good.

Money wise, what you make is yours, what she makes is hers. You split the common bills (food, electric, mortgage, etc...), either 50/50 or based on your income ratios (80:25); whatever you two agree to.

Do NOT have kids until this garbage gets straightened out. If she don't straighten out soon, then get rid of her. There are lots of women out there looking for a guy making $80k+.

 

[Skywired]

I think pre-marital counseling should include at least two Appleseeds...