I'm not. Around half of all marriages end in divorce. Many posters on here likely were raised in a family where their parents were divorced. Half of the posters on this forum who have been married likely have been divorced. Nature of how things are now. As a person who has been married for six years now, I can tell you that sometimes the other half does change. Sometimes I hear stories of how people are one way until they land what they want (spouse), then all of a sudden, they change. Sometimes the change is minimal and won't harm the marriage, other times it is bad and destroys the marriage.
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omg I messed up
- Thread starter dman65
- Start date
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I'm not. Around half of all marriages end in divorce. Many posters on here likely were raised in a family where their parents were divorced. Half of the posters on this forum who have been married likely have been divorced. Nature of how things are now. As a person who has been married for six years now, I can tell you that sometimes the other half does change. Sometimes I hear stories of how people are one way until they land what they want (spouse), then all of a sudden, they change. Sometimes the change is minimal and won't harm the marriage, other times it is bad and destroys the marriage.
hornadylnl
Shooter
- Nov 19, 2008
- 21,505
- 63
I've been married almost 15 years to the only woman I've slept with. Never cheated and never will. I believe in the biblical concept of marriage and the commitment it entails. That said, should I ever be single again, my name will never grace another marriage license. I will not allow that piece of paper to be used as a weapon against me.
littletommy
Grandmaster
OP, just tell her you will not cave to her stupid demands, and if she doesn't like it, she can leave. She'll either get over it, or leave, but either way, you'll be better off.
Been there, done that.
Been there, done that.
Get a good dowry?
hornadylnl
Shooter
- Nov 19, 2008
- 21,505
- 63
I wish.
So true.
Then after you have become a cowering sissy boy who lets them make all the decisions and run things, they will dump you because you arent a man anymore. What Women think they want, isnt what they really want deep down.
I love these threads. They help remind me that I don't really want to ever get married. So many people willing to run to the internet for help instead of actually sitting down like an adult and having a conversation. Blows my mind.
I feel for you...I don't know why women marry men and think they can change them and that they rule...either get out now...because it is not going work or grow a pair and tell her to bad...she will either adapt or leave. This is from a woman who has been married 38 years. You have to like the same thing to have a great marriage. If not it is just a financial arrangement and no one is really ever happy. All my hubby's friends say when he leaves me they will marry me lol.
Edit: hubby said how much you want for the bike and guns***,,Sorry!
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Men get married thinking their brides will never change.
Women get married thinking they will be able to change their husbands.
They are both wrong.
Seriously...if you love her deeply and truly (i.e. you'd die for her without a seconds hesitation, you at least occasionally feel like you'd live every moment of your life for her sole benefit without a moment's complaint) then you didn't make a mistake, you just have work to do.
My wife hated hunting when we got married....I gave it up...she was (and still is) "the one"...easily worth giving it up.
After years of logical discussion and argument (at the point of opportunity only), I won her over, and she enjoys having venison in the rotation.
Only you know what is truly important to you. Only you can identify your priorities.
The fact that you are here asking for advice...well, maybe not directly, but lamenting your choice...is telling.
Dang it...now I'm all sentimental and nostalgic...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00PlNYrECeo
Women get married thinking they will be able to change their husbands.
They are both wrong.
Seriously...if you love her deeply and truly (i.e. you'd die for her without a seconds hesitation, you at least occasionally feel like you'd live every moment of your life for her sole benefit without a moment's complaint) then you didn't make a mistake, you just have work to do.
My wife hated hunting when we got married....I gave it up...she was (and still is) "the one"...easily worth giving it up.
After years of logical discussion and argument (at the point of opportunity only), I won her over, and she enjoys having venison in the rotation.
Only you know what is truly important to you. Only you can identify your priorities.
The fact that you are here asking for advice...well, maybe not directly, but lamenting your choice...is telling.
Dang it...now I'm all sentimental and nostalgic...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00PlNYrECeo
I think in a happy marriage a couple does not each change but evolve into something that is one.
When she married you she married the whole package. Best make it clear to her now. No beating around the bush.
I have a motorcycle bud who had a similar exchange with his wife, only it was about bikes instead of guns. He just made it clear to her that bikes had been a part of his life before he married her, that she was well aware of that fact when she married him, and that was just part of the deal that wasn't going to change. She got the message.
I went thru this crap with mine. Force her to make the move. Tell her politely that this is the way you are and it's the way that things are going to be.
In fact go out and buy something big to make a point. $1000 to $1500 should do. But don't ignore her, get her something equal in value. It usually solves the issue. Did with mine.
You certainly have the leverage, certainly she has gotten used to the perks of your 85K salary over he living on her 20K something salary. Use it. I agree that she is testing you, respond with your leverage. Your holding the cards in this situation.
In fact go out and buy something big to make a point. $1000 to $1500 should do. But don't ignore her, get her something equal in value. It usually solves the issue. Did with mine.
You certainly have the leverage, certainly she has gotten used to the perks of your 85K salary over he living on her 20K something salary. Use it. I agree that she is testing you, respond with your leverage. Your holding the cards in this situation.
I couldn't agree more.
But evolution takes time...if the OP's blushing bride knew about his love (admiration...whatever) for guns and desire to have them, and maybe a motorcycle, before they tied the knot then I smell a huge problem for him, and it's on her.
If she didn't, then he failed to communicate these things, then it's still a problem, but it's on him.
Communication is key for any marriage to work well.
PeaShooter
Master
you: I do.
Her: Some things are going to change!!!!
Her: Some things are going to change!!!!
hoosierdoc
Freed prisoner
Please tell me how that worked with your wife. I mean no disrespect but that advice is about as bad as looking down the barrel to see what happened when you pulled the trigger and nothing happened
