Possible arrangement with the wife

[IndianaSigma]

My wife was anti guns. She quit complaining about it after about number 13. Just come home with it and when she gets angry just watch the nightly news together and politely tell her this is the reason I own guns. It worked for me. I mean hell I even have a room dedicated to reloading and AR builds now. (She got tired of me working on them at the kitchen table)

Yeah....did that this weekend after buying a 250 pack of Blazer Brass S&W .40 ammo at Gander. Figured it would be easier to tell her after I already spent the money. I also signed up for a Gander Mtn. card so I got $20 off. She was a little mad, til I brought up how much her new purse cost and reminded her that I've had the same wallet for 8 years.

 

[techres]

Quick answer:

Tread carefully & go slow!

You need her more than you need any specific firearm. Period.

As to the specific deal, let me take two different tracks for you to consider.

1. How an AR and no more rifles in 2 years can work.

An AR is kinda unique because if you have one you can keep it and still configure it into many other rifles without having to buy another rifle. I.E. if 16" ends up being too short you go with a 20" upper and sell the 16" one. If you go with a flat top you can add in a scope or irons. IF you go AR you can end up having 5 different rifles in one year without buying another rifle. In that way you can feel out the best AR for your needs over time.

Also, if you did do this deal you must understand your wife is helping you as a shooter. The absolute best thing that could happen to you is to have to shoot the same rifle for 2 years. Why? Because then you would know that rifle in and out and focus on what really matters in shooting: you and your skills. Too often the bling of new pretty shiny things keeps people with empty pockets and empty skills. It would be a blessing to focus on one thing and one thing only.

However you need to understand the real issue:

2. What is the real issue here?

At first you frame this as a hatred of black rifles. But later you hint at financial issues. We have seen this discussion before here time and time again. If she is nervous about AR's but scared about finances, or if she is impatient about a new pretty shiny and upset about broken finances then you deal with the real issue first: marital trust and financial responsibility.

In all of these issues, you must move slowly. They all, ALL, revolve around trust. If finances are tied to the issue, then perhaps the best 2 year offer is to set aside X dollars a month (30 dollars?) to build the fund that can afford an AR outright in 2 years. At the same time you bust butt to make sure all other finances are solid and she has a fund of her own for some nice shiny thing. Then in 2 years you can have the rifle and she won't hate both it and you everytime she sees it. You do want to see her shoot it some day, right?

Now, as to the dislike of black rifles, just go slow. Take her to the range some day (if she will go) and have her shoot something like an AR to see they are not scary. Heck, bring her to an Appleseed I am running and I will hand her a 22 AR that is quiet and kind. If that is not where she is now, then buy the occasional competition mag from USPSA and throw out all mags that are Soldier of Fortune'ish. Competition framing is somehow more acceptable since it is sports while the other stuff just comes off as scary nuttery with a touch of Walter Mitty childishness.

But whatever you do, go slow.

She loves you or you would not be having this conversation. You love her or she would have already sent you and your G30 to a hotel to live in. She obviously has come some distance because you have an EDC at all. There is alot to work with here.

Just go slow, and remember what is really important while you figure out what really is the hangup and how to slowly get beyond it.

Good luck!

 

[iChokePeople]

Quick answer:

Tread carefully & go slow!

You need her more than you need any specific firearm. Period.

Any one specific one, sure... but what about SEVERAL?

 

[techres]

Any one specific one, sure... but what about SEVERAL?

I would lean on the "Till death does us part" side and less on the "Till Midway does us part" side...

 

[Bang-bang]

Question, is SHE going to give up shopping for 2 years ? It IS a 2 way street, you must give and take, BUT she must also, NO SHOPPING FOR HER FOR 2 YEARS EITHER!

equal rights

 

[iChokePeople]

Question, is SHE going to give up shopping for 2 years ? It IS a 2 way street, you must give and take, BUT she must also, NO SHOPPING FOR HER FOR 2 YEARS EITHER!

equal rights

So you're single, huh?

 

[maxmayhem]

Sell all your guns to me at half price so your wife can be happy--I am thinking of you here

 

[rimfire_crazed]

Again, I'M NOT MARRIED LOL

I don't understand arrangements like this. If there is a certain dollar amount that can be spent then I might get it but I don't understand the "one gun over two year period". Is it a numbers game? Is it a control thing? Is it a financial thing?

Also, I definitely would not get rid of your EDC just to have another gun.

I AM married and I don't understand arrangements like this. My wife is not a gun lover, but she's not an anti. If the bills are paid, and our savings is funded, there is no reason why I cannot buy what I want. It goes the same way for her. I don't blink when she gets an expensive haircut or buys $300 worth of makeup, and she hasn't said a word about what guns end up in the safe.

I don't make "deals".

 

[canav844]

If it's a fear of guns thing, then some safety education for all is in order, spend a Saturday making a family trip to an NRA basic course or two.

If it's a financial responsibility cause you're buying so many new guns, there need not be a 2 year waiting period to be responsible with money. Even if it's just her managing the books and wanting to see justification when things get that pricey, there are better ways to handle it.

 

[IndyMedic]

I have to agree with the majority. Once you get another you will continue to want. I started just about a year ago just wanting a pistol for the home. I have bought two more guns this year and am looking for a revolver now.

I also agree that you it would be better to help your wife become more comfortable with the guns you have. Once she is comfortable with your guns it will probably be easier to get more. Maybe she will even want one of her own.

 

[sgreen3]

I have to say No on this one. 2 Years is a long time to wait, I know I couldnt do it. But I guess it really comes down to how bad you want an AR or M4

 

[Titanium Man]

She'll get her way, so better make it count!!

 

[yotewacker]

Is she uncomfortable around guns? Or she just don't feel comfortable with you holding one. HEHE lol

I'm allowed to own as many as I can afford. I don't care what she has to say about it.

 

[AllenM]

I doubt you would be willing to keep that commitment after a few months. At least I wouldn't want to

 

[dbd870]

I would make no deals; you do need to share the disposable income but what you do with your part is up to you.

 

[youngda9]

It shouldn't be about "what" you buy...only "how much" you both can afford to spend on whatever you choose. You need to figure that out in your ralationship first. DON'T MAKE A DEAL. You're only going to regret and it will be used against you down the road. It's a fool's trap. No deals, no games.

I bet you could get a really nice AR + cash in trade for the wife if you decide to go that route

 

[LockStocksAndBarrel]

I can only speak from my own personal experience here because I don't know you or your wife.

All I can say is I made similar deals with all 9 of my ex-wives and I regretted 8 of them...OK, OK I regretted them all.

 

[malern28us]

I would say no to that deal.
My wife used to just shake her head when I bought an AR. I talked her into shooting one and she loved it! I ended up buying one for her the next month. A better option would be to purchase one, let her shoot it, then promise just to build any others that you may want as funds permit.

 

[led4thehed2]

I'm not sure it's as simple as a "yes or no" poll. I don't know you, your wife, or why she's uncomfortable around firearms. However, if you've attempted to show her how your guns work, take her shooting, or familiarize her with weapons in the past and it didn't take I'm guessing she'll never be glad you brought home another gun and will never feel comfortable with them.

I do respect that you're trying to consider her feelings instead of just bringing home every gun you fancy. But will she be any more comfortable in two years if you bring home another firearm? Maybe not. To me, it's going to come down to whether her uncomfortability keeps you from owning more weapons. If it really upsets you to think your wife's uncomfortable with guns in the home, then maybe it's time to assess the collection and maybe weed it down a bit and keep your favorites and not buy more. If her discomfort is not a big enough issue to keep you from buying guns then you may as well buy it and not make promises about no guns for two years.

The women in my life that aren't comfortable around guns don't suddenly become more at east when I sell a firearm and they don't get more anxious when I bring another one home. I could own one, I could own a dozen, their level of discomfort isn't really directly proportional to number of weapons I own. That keeps me from talking about my guns all the time and keeping them or ammunition out in plain sight, which would be stupid anyway. However, it doesn't mean I'll sell all my guns.

Now, if this is about money forget everything I just said! Well, most of it anyway. Maybe it's time for a new wife. JK. Hope you can agree to something, but like everyone says, once you start buying it's hard to stop. From what I've seen, people who own guns are either going to own one to keep in their home for defense purposes and will take it to the range every now-and-then, and might even carry from time to time, but nothing regularly. Then there are people who enjoy owning, buying, and colecting firearms. Some own a modest few, some own dozens and dozens. I've owned 6 in the last few years and am currently looking to sell one and buy another. It's a vicious cycle. Good luck!

 

[GREEN607]

It's not like she is totally uncomfortable around guns..... I've taken her shooting on many occasions and I'm willing to stick with the arrangement if she says yes.... I know, I know....... It's addicting to get ARs or M4s but I don't own one..... It would be my first one....

Mr led4thehed, (above poster): You obviously didn't read anything more than post#1 in this thread. The OP's third post (quoted) says she is not totally uncomfortable around guns, and has gone to the range w/ him.

BDBHoover: Maybe your wife is like mine, a bit. She doesn't mind rifles, at all......but does not really feel comfortable around handguns.

I noticed you stated that she would agree to the AR purchase if you "get rid of the G30". Ask her, if this is maybe her feeling. I don't know how much you depend on your EDC G30, but maybe that is the real issue..rather than finances or number of guns you do/will own!?