why do bad things happen to good people?

[drop45]

dupe

 

[Ruffnek]

Just remember: The trials in life are there to make us better,not bitter.

 

[drop45]

More to this than on just the surface.

Life is a crap sandwich. You are going to have to eat it. The only options available are a choice of condiments.
Sounds simple enough but choose your condiments wisely. They are all you have.

Churchmouse, I've been saying that for years. Life's a b-s sandwich the more bread you want to eat the more b-s you've got to eat. Things happen all the time, some are good some are bad. Some involve good people some involve bad people. Some don't involve people at all. When life knocks you down land on your back, cause if you can look up you can get up.

 

[Doug]

The answer to your question is a forbidden subject on this forum and is too involved to cover in a PM.
If you'd like to meet and discuss it over coffee or whatever, let me know. No pressure, no guilt, just calm conversation.
I'm on the west side of Indy.

 

[TB1999]

Forbidden? Not sure I follow unless you are referring to religious beliefs. I'm up in northern Indiana but thanks for the offer.

 

[88GT]

Forbidden? Not sure I follow unless you are referring to religious beliefs. I'm up in northern Indiana but thanks for the offer.

That's exactly what he means. It's what I meant. There is an answer. But we can't discuss here on INGO.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

Things happen. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are bad. Sometimes the good things happen to you, sometimes they happen to that rectal orifice that got elected president. Sometimes the bad things happen to you, sometimes they happen to the neighbor that calls the cops every time your bumper hangs over the sidewalk by a few mm. There is no pattern, there is no plan. There is nobody setting them up or knocking them down. We all do as we will. The laws of physics will tell us how the dice shall roll, if we care to look deeply enough. Statistics/probability will tell us how likely things are, just how often those good/bad things will happen to someone. It's our civilization that lets us overcome probability and compensate for the bad things. To the extent we reject that, expecting some divine intervention, is how much we fail as civilized people. My life is not controlled by influences beyond my understanding. You're on your own.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

The only thing fair in life comes to the county once a year and has a merry-go-round. Plan accordingly.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

that's what I'd always say to my son when he'd complain about "fairness"; "fair's not til August".

 

[ATM]

...what's the point of putting someone on the earth just to make them suffer? ...

Perhaps the suffering accomplished something.

Perhaps the sufferee was uniquely qualified and capable of enduring what needed to be suffered.

Perhaps innocence, the seemingly "unfair" nature of the affliction, was a necessary component.

I know a guy...

 

[ModernGunner]

'Bad' things happen to everyone, good person or not.

It's not whether something bad will happen, it will. It's how one deals with the bad things that determines their mettle.

 

[kawtech87]

More to this than on just the surface.

Life is a crap sandwich. You are going to have to eat it. The only options available are a choice of condiments.
Sounds simple enough but choose your condiments wisely. They are all you have.

I like this one. Mind if I borrow it?


OP sorry for your run of bad luck. If it makes you feel any better I've had a really bad go of things recently too. One of a few reasons I have not been as active on here as usual. It's not just you stuff happens to all of us. Like everyone else has said it is how you deal with it that matters.

 

[Mr Evilwrench]

I'm not saying we can't learn from things that happen, just that there's no master plan involved. Do please watch for confirmation bias and selective memory. Those'll gitcha.

 

[kawtech87]

I'm not saying we can't learn from things that happen, just that there's no master plan involved.

"There is no fate but that which we make for ourselves"

 

[lovemachine]

I asked myself the same question recently. My wife and I have gone thru 4 miscarriages now, and 3 surgeries. And still no baby yet.

So, instead of asking myself why do bad things happen to good people, I have asked myself, maybe I'm not as good of a person as I thought I was....

 

[lovemachine]

.

 

[beehunter]

I am fighting cancer for 2nd time in 2 years. I don't have to be reminded life isn't fair.....

 

[hoosierdoc]

I asked myself the same question recently. My wife and I have gone thru 4 miscarriages now, and 3 surgeries. And still no baby yet.

So, instead of asking myself why do bad things happen to good people, I have asked myself, maybe I'm not as good of a person as I thought I was....

We were never promised a pain-free life on earth. In fact we were told it was going to be hard and often unpleasant. It's not for lack of "goodness", it's part of being a human on earth. Maybe we all need to read the book of Job. Being "good" does not confer immunity to badness unfortunately.

 

[david890]

Bad things happen to good people because they can handle it.

My Mother, whom I believe to have been a "good person", didn't handle that metastatic cancer so well.

IMHO, when you say something like that (or "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" or words to that effect), there's the possibility that a "good person" WON'T be able to handle it. If so, that necessarily implies that they were NOT a "good person". I doubt that makes the person feel any better about him- or herself.

Robin Williams was arguably a very good person, based on his charity work, his numerous USO tours to the Middle East (more than any other performer) and the comments of those that knew him, yet depression and other health issues got the better of him. So, is he now NOT a "good person"?

It's simply that fact that people more easily remember the bad things that have happened to them vs. the good. There's obvious survival value in remembering EVERY bad thing that happens to you so that - hopefully - you won't get into that situation again. Yet even with that survival instinct, we still have to remind guys not to stick their d**k into crazy!!!

 

[david890]

I asked myself the same question recently. My wife and I have gone thru 4 miscarriages now, and 3 surgeries. And still no baby yet.

So, instead of asking myself why do bad things happen to good people, I have asked myself, maybe I'm not as good of a person as I thought I was....

Or perhaps someone is trying to tell you that there's a kid in an orphanage who needs parents.