She finally snatched "them" off!

[shooter521]

Well, I brought my wife into my office and we talked about the whole situation.

Excellent.

Bottom line, I had started to acquire a great deal of guns and using family money to do so.

I can see where that would be a problem. The biggest fight my wife and I have ever had was over money (specifically her racking up massive amounts of debt and not telling me because she didn't think it was "my problem").

When it comes to toys, we each maintain a separate personal bank account in addition to our joint account. The joint account is used for groceries, bills, gas, car repairs, daycare and other household expenses. Money from second jobs, gifts, etc. and an "allowance" from our primary paycheck goes into our personal account, and that money can be spent without any accountability to the other party. May not work for some, but it sure as heck has worked for us, and it eliminates a lot of the worry, deception ("if my wife finds out I bought this, she'll kill me") and mistrust issues that a lot of couples seem to have when it comes to spending money.

Glad you guys were able to work things out.

 

[TiminMishawaka]

Ignore again.

BTW - consider getting her a gun that uses the same ammo as yours, that way you're not buying ammo for you but for "us". ;-)

 

[E5RANGER375]

Que, i would move your wife to your friends basement, not your guns

20 years is a long time. I have only been married for 5 years, and we have 1 child. but i will tell you that i was straight up with my wife on our first date and i told her about the guns and made it clear what im all about and she agreed (and that was just to secure a second date). if my wife had said the same to me, then i would try to convince her to change her mind because my guns would not leave me, and i would not bend on that. so if it came to it then the wife would be the one hitting the road. I love my wife so much and we are one, but my firearms are a part of me too, and as my lifelong partner she would never try to cut off my arm. good luck man!!

 

[PatriotPride]

Glad you worked it out. Communication can solve almost any problem, and for all others the Good Lord made C4

 

[downzero]

Well, I brought my wife into my office and we talked about the whole situation. Bottom line, I had started to acquire a great deal of guns and using family money to do so. I was spending a great deal of money on ammo and it was showing up on the debit card and I was spending more time at the range than I should have.

We talked it out and I will be selling some of my guns. However, she is not insisting that I get rid of them all, but just some. She even likes the idea of having a gun in the house and my being able to protect myself and family, if necessary. So, I will be having a sale as soon as I get pics done. And, get this, she wants to go to the range with me, this week!

Thanks to all of you for your great advice. I was frustrated and without reading these posts, I certainly would have made the wrong move. I'm glad to know there wasn't a trust issue, but just a time and fiscal management issue. So, I guess I will not be getting the G22, but I will be getting her a special .22 target pistol.

If you didn't get rep, it's because I'm out, but a big for the INGO fam.

Mark my words. This is not the end of this. Selling your guns will not solve your problem.

 

[techres]

Good for you!

 

[Bill of Rights]

Que,

Glad to see you've come to this temporary resolution. I say temporary because it's still somewhat about the guns, IMHO. If you had a different expensive hobby, say, HAM radio, would she have insisted that you get rid of all your radios, no matter what you had invested in them and no matter at what loss? I don't know your wife, but I'd imagine probably not. Almost everyone gave you good advice here, but particularly Techres and Shooter521. I'd like to add my thoughts to Shooter's: Separate accounts do wonders, I agree. Another idea I'd read was that if you are the major breadwinner, you buy no gun (or whatever of your interests you want) until you have saved at least double that amount out: i.e. if that new Glock is going to cost you $500, you save $1000 and give her her half of it to spend on her hobbies and interests.

Another thought... You mentioned selling some of your current collection. This might be a great time for your fellow INGOers to come out to help with the understanding that yes, they've purchased a firearm from you, but you have first right of repurchase: That is, when you've saved the cash to do it (whether from "saved out" or from "your money", same difference), you can go back to them and buy it back. Note that I am specifically not calling anything a loan: In Indiana, a loan secured by a handgun is unlawful. This is a purchase. They maintain ownership of the firearm, just with a gentleman's understanding along with it.

Obviously, this is something that would be decided between you and the buyer, not by me. I merely suggest it as an option.

Good luck and I'm glad you got this to where you did.

Blessings,
Bill

 

[stilllearning09]

I am so glad things are looking up for you both. Communication is the key and it sounds like you have a very smart wife who understands the importance of protecting her family and having the tools to do it.
She wants to go with you to the range - that is afor you both. Good luck and best wishes.

 

[Que]

Mark my words. This is not the end of this. Selling your guns will not solve your problem.

DZ, I will never say never, but we're in a good place right now and that's about all that can be expected when two people are joined together. Who knows, if she enjoys the range, there may be a "Mrs. Que" on the forum. That's not my expectation, but neither was her being willing to go to the range in the first place.

 

[Que]

Que,

Glad to see you've come to this temporary resolution. I say temporary because it's still somewhat about the guns, IMHO. If you had a different expensive hobby, say, HAM radio, would she have insisted that you get rid of all your radios, no matter what you had invested in them and no matter at what loss? I don't know your wife, but I'd imagine probably not. Almost everyone gave you good advice here, but particularly Techres and Shooter521. I'd like to add my thoughts to Shooter's: Separate accounts do wonders, I agree. Another idea I'd read was that if you are the major breadwinner, you buy no gun (or whatever of your interests you want) until you have saved at least double that amount out: i.e. if that new Glock is going to cost you $500, you save $1000 and give her her half of it to spend on her hobbies and interests.

Another thought... You mentioned selling some of your current collection. This might be a great time for your fellow INGOers to come out to help with the understanding that yes, they've purchased a firearm from you, but you have first right of repurchase: That is, when you've saved the cash to do it (whether from "saved out" or from "your money", same difference), you can go back to them and buy it back. Note that I am specifically not calling anything a loan: In Indiana, a loan secured by a handgun is unlawful. This is a purchase. They maintain ownership of the firearm, just with a gentleman's understanding along with it.

Obviously, this is something that would be decided between you and the buyer, not by me. I merely suggest it as an option.

Good luck and I'm glad you got this to where you did.

Blessings,
Bill

Great suggestion, Bill; however, the sale will consist of guns I really don't want. I can't see getting rid of guns that I care for, shoot, and have a purpose in my defense plan.

So, three wheel guns will be going and a KT Sub 2000. I will try to trade out my O/U shotgun for something that suites home defense better, and that will be the end of that. Everything else has a specific purpose and when I explained the plan to my wife, she was fine with it.

I will never say I have my wife figured out, but I think, bottom line, she felt left out.

 

[Que]

Que, i would move your wife to your friends basement, not your guns

20 years is a long time. I have only been married for 5 years, and we have 1 child. but i will tell you that i was straight up with my wife on our first date and i told her about the guns and made it clear what im all about and she agreed (and that was just to secure a second date). if my wife had said the same to me, then i would try to convince her to change her mind because my guns would not leave me, and i would not bend on that. so if it came to it then the wife would be the one hitting the road. I love my wife so much and we are one, but my firearms are a part of me too, and as my lifelong partner she would never try to cut off my arm. good luck man!!

Ranger, you are a real character!

You did something that I really never did, and that's explaining to my wife about having guns and why. Yeah, I did it in a broad fashion, but never in detail and allowing her to be a part of my "gun life" or getting to an agreement.

I bear some of the blame for this and like every other bumps we've hit, we are over it and will choose to move ahead.

 

[SSGSAD]

Well, I brought my wife into my office and we talked about the whole situation. Bottom line, I had started to acquire a great deal of guns and using family money to do so. I was spending a great deal of money on ammo and it was showing up on the debit card and I was spending more time at the range than I should have.

We talked it out and I will be selling some of my guns. However, she is not insisting that I get rid of them all, but just some. She even likes the idea of having a gun in the house and my being able to protect myself and family, if necessary. So, I will be having a sale as soon as I get pics done. And, get this, she wants to go to the range with me, this week!

Thanks to all of you for your great advice. I was frustrated and without reading these posts, I certainly would have made the wrong move. I'm glad to know there wasn't a trust issue, but just a time and fiscal management issue. So, I guess I will not be getting the G22, but I will be getting her a special .22 target pistol.

If you didn't get rep, it's because I'm out, but a big for the INGO fam.

WONDERFUL !!!!! There is a breakfast in Noblesville, Sat.
the 31st, come on up, and bring her along, also ACC is having an open house, and some people are doing a bike ride to Bubs burgers, on the Monon trail... a great day to introduce her to some of us...

 

[SSGSAD]

Que, i would move your wife to your friends basement, not your guns

20 years is a long time. I have only been married for 5 years, and we have 1 child. but i will tell you that i was straight up with my wife on our first date and i told her about the guns and made it clear what im all about and she agreed (and that was just to secure a second date). if my wife had said the same to me, then i would try to convince her to change her mind because my guns would not leave me, and i would not bend on that. so if it came to it then the wife would be the one hitting the road. I love my wife so much and we are one, but my firearms are a part of me too, and as my lifelong partner she would never try to cut off my arm. good luck man!!

This is what I did with my wife, and she accepted me, and my guns... Que, Glad to hear you two worked it out !!!!! Good going !!!!!

 

[Que]

WONDERFUL !!!!! There is a breakfast in Noblesville, Sat.
the 31st, come on up, and bring her along, also ACC is having an open house, and some people are doing a bike ride to a hamburger joint on the Monon trail... a great day to introduce her to some of us...

I plan to be at the bike ride and will see if she wants to come along.

 

[SSGSAD]

I plan to be at the bike ride and will see if she wants to come along.

I am going to breakfast, and to ACC, and try to make it to Bubs burgers...

 

[JetGirl]

So what was the reason for this:

She even jumps when she sees ammunition. I just think I'm getting played and I don't like it.

Just curious...

Seriously, ...I'm not pot-stirring, I just really am interested in how it went from "jumping at the sight" to "it was about money".
I really don't understand it, but I'd like to.

 

[alwalker84]

Glad it worked out!

And thanks for the range session! (wanting an m&p .45 now)

 

[Ahgo]

Que,
It sounds like there is something else behind this. If she has never nagged you about this for 20 years and is just now bring it up, there is something else bothering her. This sounds like a symptom, not the cause. Try going a little deeper with her and see if something else is not bothering her and this is just her way of solving the problem. And she may not even know what the problem is. BE PATIENT. Maybe the dream scared her. Good luck and I wish you the best.

 

[Joe Williams]

Well, I'm glad you two seem to have reached an understanding. However, if she brings it up again, perhaps you should think about using these carefully considered remarks from the king of male/female relations (NSFW):

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd30JESdb9o]YouTube - Cartman explains how he deals with women[/ame]

 

[eldirector]

I will never say I have my wife figured out, but I think, bottom line, she felt left out.

Glad things are smoothing out for you, Que! This last comment hit me, as I've had the same conversation with my wife. She has been jealous of my hobbies in the past, so we include each other more often now. We shoot, fish, and go off-roading together, and I support/encourage her hobbies as well (no way I'm taking up knitting myself!).

I'll watch for your for-sale posts!