INGO: Joke of the day page

[Hatin Since 87]

Worst experience I have ever had was American. In Louisville going to CA via Chicago, thunder storms in Chicago.
We were boarded, the door shut and an immediate announcement that there was a 4 hr delay. There was a rebellion in the plane, complete with threats to call the police by the crew. They never did open the door, we sat there 4 hrs. Took me 24 hrs to get to California on a 3 1/2 hr flight..

Don

I bet the flight wasnt even the worst part of that trip, was it?

 

[DCR]

I feel your pain.
American --- 23 hrs from Key West to Indy last year.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[smokingman]

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.” – Jimmy Carr

 

[Sigblitz]

How does a nonbinary samurai kill his enemy?
He / them.

 

[AndreusMaximus]

How does a nonbinary samurai kill his enemy?
He / them.

I'll admit, it took me a bit to get that one.

 

[smokingman]

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion.


I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. But it's only mild.

It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are not a dad. It's a faux pa.

 

[smokingman]

A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must be in management."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

 

[Hardscrable]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Hardscrable]

 

[Ballstater98]

 

[yeahbaby]

We will walk before we fly american airlines again.

Flying in anymore seems to be such a PITA. Our last experience was horrible.

 

[Cameramonkey]

I had to laugh at that one. My last trip to NH they lost my luggage. When I went to the desk to find it the woman behind the counter asked "what do you want?"

I was on a 9 day trip, and my luggage was delivered the night before I left to go home. Not my favourite airline.

Joke.
The earth is not flat. The proof? Cats would have already pushed everything off the edge.

Related:

A guy walks up to the ticket counter.
Hi. I want a ticket to chicago, please. Oh, and I want my bags to be sent to Las Cruces.
The agent said I'm sorry sir, we cant do that.
He replied Why not? You did it last time!

 

[Ingomike]

Related:

A guy walks up to the ticket counter.
Hi. I want a ticket to chicago, please. Oh, and I want my bags to be sent to Las Cruces.
The agent said I'm sorry sir, we cant do that.
He replied Why not? You did it last time!

I always heard it this way: A man ordered “uncooked eggs, burnt toast, limp bacon and cold pancakes”, the waitress said, “sir, we don't do that”, the man replied “well you did yesterday”…