Weird sit rep for married folks

[thunderchicken]

So we are to "shelter in place." What if my old lady decides she is sick of my goat smelling a$$ and wants me out?

Why are smelling the goat's a$$? Get your nose away from that son...the goat poops from there!

And if you are smelling like a goat's a$$... Saturday was 2 days ago. Take a shower you heathen lol

 

[KittySlayer]

Take a shower. Put on pants. Have a dinner date (nice clothes, candles, at dining room table, her fantasy). Practice making babies.

Remember when you were young and thought spending every minute together would be a dream (a good one)?

Reminds me I need to make dinner reservations with my wife for tomorrow. We watched a romantic chick flick together last night. We watched an action movie together the night before.

My wife does not belive in divorce....


She belives in murder.

Fact: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The other half end in death.

 

[Alpo]

Sleep at different intervals. I like to stay up late. She likes to get up early. Cuts the interaction window down to 8 hours in ideal circumstances.

Don't talk when you chew. In fact, don't talk at all.

Wear headphones. Noise cancelling preferable. Wear them even if you are not listening to anything on them. Make sure they are plugged into something or she'll get suspicious.

Do not look up. If you look Medusa in the eyes, you'll turn to stone. Do not look up.

 

[Nazgul]

#3 here and she checks all the boxes.

Ditto!!

Mentioned the other day that I had lost a wife every way possible. Had one walk before we were married, one divorce, on died. My wife's immediate response was "No you haven't. One hasn't killed you.....yet."

Don

 

[Thor]

I was engaged three times, only married once. It's more cost effective that way. Make the engagements long so you can end a mistake before you make it.

 

[BehindBlueI's]

If television has taught us anything, it's that you put some wide white tape down the middle of the house, proclaim one side is yours and one side is hers and nobody can cross...then argue over who's side the refrigerator, bathroom, etc. is on.

If you don't have a sufficient length of wide white tape, you weren't really prepared now where you?

 

[Tyler-The-Piker]

If television has taught us anything, it's that you put some wide white tape down the middle of the house, proclaim one side is yours and one side is hers and nobody can cross...then argue over who's side the refrigerator, bathroom, etc. is on.

If you don't have a sufficient length of wide white tape, you weren't really prepared now where you?

Would a curtain or blanket hung between the twin beds be a viable option? I ran out of tape!

 

[MRockwell]

Did someone mention tape?

 

[KokomoDave]

The bible says the love of a good woman is worth more than rubies...

It is true. I am fortunate that my bride of nearly 30 years has said several times the last few weeks "thanks for all you are doing to keep us safe and fed". It is up to you to create that safe environment that she needs to thrive in. Like every one we have our moments but they are brief because she knows it is all for the family. Things that she wasn't that keen on in the past, like preps and security, are now looked at with different eyes. Show her it is all for her and things will begin to turn around...

The Bible also says: It is better to live in the wilderness alone than with a contentious woman.

 

[HoughMade]

So we are to "shelter in place." What if my old lady decides she is sick of my goat smelling a$$ and wants me out? You can't rent or lease a place and you can't stay there with her either. What does one do?? Can't get divorced either as the courts are closed. What now???

Courts aren't closed here.

 

[Tactically Fat]

#3 here and she checks all the boxes.

Soap, ballot, & cartridge?

 

[76Too]

why do you smell like a goats ass?

 

[gunrunner0]

Courts aren't closed here.

I don't believe they're closed anywhere in the state for emergency matters. Though most counties seem to be setting non-emergency matters, including divorce/ provisional order petitions, out quite a bit.

I believe protective order petitions have been specifically excepted by the Supreme Court as emergency matters. That's the position taken by Elkhart County anyway. I suspect there will be an uptick in CPOs in lieu of temporary/provisional orders in paternity and divorce cases over the next 2 months for the type of situation posed by the OP. Particularly given the new protective order e-filing system recently opened to the public.

 

[Hookeye]

Kick her out. There's a hottie someplace that aint stocked up on TP (move her in at your own peril).

 

[HoughMade]

I don't believe they're closed anywhere in the state for emergency matters. Though most counties seem to be setting non-emergency matters, including divorce/ provisional order petitions, out quite a bit.

I believe protective order petitions have been specifically excepted by the Supreme Court as emergency matters. That's the position taken by Elkhart County anyway. I suspect there will be an uptick in CPOs in lieu of temporary/provisional orders in paternity and divorce cases over the next 2 months for the type of situation posed by the OP. Particularly given the new protective order e-filing system recently opened to the public.

No divorce that I know of can be granted within weeks, let alone days, of being filed under normal conditions.

 

[maxwelhse]

I was engaged three times, only married once. It's more cost effective that way. Make the engagements long so you can end a mistake before you make it.

This is basically what I did... Road that train for 11.5 years. Not too thrilled with the destination though.

 

[gunrunner0]

No divorce that I know of can be granted within weeks, let alone days, of being filed under normal conditions.

I agree. Indiana has a 60 day cooling off period by statute. Provisional orders can and sometimes are granted much sooner. Particularly if requested on an emergency basis.

 

[bwframe]

[video=youtube;6oGW8K1dYzc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oGW8K1dYzc[/video]

 

[Gadgetmonster]

Yer doin it wrong Mister.

Did someone mention tape?

 

[Super Bee]

Some one up thread said the house was in his name..........yeah that will always work out.....Not.

Yeah, I probably should have put that one in purple.


I am on #3 as well, third times the charm. Been married 15 years in two weeks, the woman makes the best breakfast ever, I am staying right where I am.