I Lost a Knife Fight to Myself: a Tale of Epic Dumba**ery

[flatlander]

Rhino-PLEASE stop by the Busse booth at the next 1500. We say that if you leave any DNA on a knife you buy it. It could be the first time we ever sell out!!

BTW, we need pics.

Bob

 

[ColdSteel223]

posted five days ago in the injury free thread;

Originally Posted by ColdSteel223 Do you have a dull training karambit? You do know you are NOT supposed to just spin them for the fun of it. you either extend or retract, NOT spin, spin, spin....

Did you get one of those 5.11 that you told me about? Next time I see you I'll tell you story about how I sunk the tip of one of those about a 1/4" into my forearm one time.
What is the this "dull training" concept to which you refer? That's far too sensible for the likes of me!

Yes, that's what I got and what bit me! Hah! I'm looking forward to your story, sir.

 

[other dave]

Self-harm isn't funny. Maybe you've never had anybody you know struggle with it but it's not funny at all. It's horrible.

I know this is the break room, and I'm not trying to be a wet blanket, but some stuff goes a bit far. And I don't have a thin-skin.

Somebody call the -mbulance!

 

[bradmedic04]

BBI ruined this thread. Where's that Denny award?

 

[BehindBlueI's]

And BBI needs to learn some patience, when you drop the thread-winning post right after the OP, it makes all the other comments anti-climactic.

He's been around Denny too long

So he pulled a Denny?

BBI ruined this thread. Where's that Denny award?

I would respectfully submit that the thread has continued to have both fun (emo rhino) and controversy (emo rhino). As such, my post added to the enjoyment of all and has not acted as a sponge to suck up all the fun. As such, I do not believe I have Denny'd up this thread. I will, of course, abide by the decision of the judges.

 

[iChokePeople]

In a thread that begins with rhino resetting his "days without a knife-related injury" count to zero without SERIOUSLY injuring himself, I don't think even DENNY could Denny it up. I think the cone post won the thread and one Interwebz and find the defendant...

NOT guilty of Dennying up this thread.

rhino, please don't ever play with your karambit in the bathroom.

 

[bigcraig]

I just want to note, that I was one of the folks that rhino texted.

I rolled over in bed, looked at text, murmured the words "not again", and promptly went back to sleep. I did respond to text at around 0600, "nice".

For those keeping score at home.
The rhino has done the following.
1) Lost a knife fight with his mother, required stitches.
2) Lost knife fight with himself, required stitches.
I personally watched hime blind himself with a high powered flashlight numerous times.
I personally watched him handcuff himself 2x in the same evening.

 

[pudly]

I just want to note, that I was one of the folks that rhino texted.

I rolled over in bed, looked at text, murmured the words "not again", and promptly went back to sleep. I did respond to text at around 0600, "nice".

For those keeping score at home.
The rhino has done the following.
1) Lost a knife fight with his mother, required stitches.
2) Lost knife fight with himself, required stitches.
I personally watched hime blind himself with a high powered flashlight numerous times.
I personally watched him handcuff himself 2x in the same evening.

Apparently, rhino needs to learn the 4 rules for knives, flashlights and handcuffs as well. Or do we need to write those?

 

[rhino]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who shouldn't be allowed to use sharp objects. I am banned from touching the hatchet for life.

At this point, I'm allowed to handle Nerf balls and small marshmallows.

My eyes are still watering but I am not sure if it is from an upwelling of compassion for Rhino or just laughing at BBI's comment.

We'll go with the compassion angle because it sounds better (but I am still telling Mrs. Slawburger about the "cone" comment).

View attachment 37393

It could be both!

Rose-Hulman is for smart people? Yeah, right! Get cut once, shame on you. Get cut twice, yeah you are a special case.

rhino is not smart.

When you are in kindegarten and determine that "Don't run with scissors" is more of a guideline than an actual rule....it will follow you for the rest of your life.

That could explain a lot of things, and not just with me.

Have you looked into the possibility that you are emo?

Okay, that's on the same level at BBI's cone message. Well played, sir.

OHHHHH That is funny!
I was one of the lucky few that recieved Rhino's text at 0030
I berated him,questioned his claimed heiritage offered my usual advice about butterflys and superglue.
He failed to inform me that the gash was 3 inches long and a 1/2 inch deep.......


Rhino your mom really needs to ground you from your toys for an extended period.

And one more question..... Is that one sharp enough?

Okay, it's more like 2.75 inches long now that I'm looking at it.

I am an embarrassment to at least half of my people.

And yes, it was adequately sharp. It's not easy to get a hawkbill blade with that small of a radius of curvature sharp enough to pop hair. Thank God I managed to do that right before I negligently introduced it to my tender flesh. THANK GOD.

Hah! I can't rep you or printcraft right now, but it's implied.

I got the text. My kids are still laughing 16 hours later.

Cone of shame- Baahaaaahaaaa!

Do they want to meet me to see if I'm real?

Maybe you should visit a psychiatrist...

"So how long have you been cutting yourself?"

HAH! Were I to visit a psychiatrist, the cutting wouldn't even make the first 10 pages of issues to discuss. On one of the overly long lawyer's pads with the yellow paper. My insurance would reach its lifetime limit before I got to investigating the nature of the cutting.

A sign would be too slow for where I work.
We use a "safety stoplight" because it changes so fast.

Yeah, pretty much need one of those lights mounted on my back and front.

 

[rhino]

Rhino-PLEASE stop by the Busse booth at the next 1500. We say that if you leave any DNA on a knife you buy it. It could be the first time we ever sell out!!

BTW, we need pics.

Bob

YOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME!

posted five days ago in the injury free thread;

Originally Posted by ColdSteel223 Do you have a dull training karambit? You do know you are NOT supposed to just spin them for the fun of it. you either extend or retract, NOT spin, spin, spin....

Did you get one of those 5.11 that you told me about? Next time I see you I'll tell you story about how I sunk the tip of one of those about a 1/4" into my forearm one time.
What is the this "dull training" concept to which you refer? That's far too sensible for the likes of me!

Yes, that's what I got and what bit me! Hah! I'm looking forward to your story, sir.

Hah! Yeah, some people don't seem to be able to learn from either their own mistakes or the sage advice of others.

Yes, I am those people.

Somebody call the -mbulance!

Oh No He Di'int!

BBI ruined this thread. Where's that Denny award?

BBI is what INGO can't have nice things.

I would respectfully submit that the thread has continued to have both fun (emo rhino) and controversy (emo rhino). As such, my post added to the enjoyment of all and has not acted as a sponge to suck up all the fun. As such, I do not believe I have Denny'd up this thread. I will, of course, abide by the decision of the judges.

Ah, sponge away, fun-killer. I can make fun as fast as you can send it to a sad place.

CHALLENGE!

In a thread that begins with rhino resetting his "days without a knife-related injury" count to zero without SERIOUSLY injuring himself, I don't think even DENNY could Denny it up. I think the cone post won the thread and one Interwebz and find the defendant...

NOT guilty of Dennying up this thread.

rhino, please don't ever play with your karambit in the bathroom.

Okay, I'm actually going to follow that piece of advice.

For the record, the offending karambit is now with G-Man. We needed some time apart, on a break if you will. It needs to see other people and I need to see other knives for a while. I think we'll still be friends in the end, but right now I just need some space. Seriously, it's not you, Karambit, it's me.

I just want to note, that I was one of the folks that rhino texted.

I rolled over in bed, looked at text, murmured the words "not again", and promptly went back to sleep. I did respond to text at around 0600, "nice".

For those keeping score at home.
The rhino has done the following.
1) Lost a knife fight with his mother, required stitches.
2) Lost knife fight with himself, required stitches.
I personally watched hime blind himself with a high powered flashlight numerous times.
I personally watched him handcuff himself 2x in the same evening.

I see nothing unusual in any of that. NOTHING UNUSUAL.

Apparently, rhino needs to learn the 4 rules for knives, flashlights and handcuffs as well. Or do we need to write those?

We need them, but will he abide

 

[eric001]

After meeting you briefly, rhino... I can see I got the wrong impression right off.

I thought sure you already knew the difference between trying to conceal knives ON your person versus IN your person.

I see that I was completely mistaken. My bad. I should have gotten the hint when you told me you lose knife fights.

Could I suggest you perhaps do something like joining the SCA so you can acquire and learn how to comfortably wear something resembling full plate armor?? You know, that stuff that has kept folks from being cut like forever and such. Might help in your case...then again, might not. I'm now pretty sure you could figure out how to cut yourself even while in armor, if you tried hard enough.

As your life isn't severely threatened, I suggest you just rub some dirt in it and shake it off as per the old INGO adage.

 

[pudly]

Could I suggest you perhaps do something like joining the SCA so you can acquire and learn how to comfortably wear something resembling full plate armor?? You know, that stuff that has kept folks from being cut like forever and such. Might help in your case...then again, might not. I'm now pretty sure you could figure out how to cut yourself even while in armor, if you tried hard enough.

Apparently, the lessons didn't take. Rhino in his younger years.

 

[lovemachine]

After having a couple of stressful days, this thread has made me laugh hard.

I am happy now

 

[Barry in IN]

I got the text. My kids are still laughing 16 hours later.

45 hours later. They're still laughing.
We are having a weenie roast and marshmallow burning right now, and the neighbor kids weren't here five minutes before my kids were telling the story.
The whole world knows.

 

[obijohn]

Well... that's at least two corners off your Totin' Chip that I know of...

Rhino's totin' chip has been confetti for years.

 

[rosefarm10]

Do you have to wear a cone so you don't chew the stitches?

I am truly sorry for your experience, but BehindBlueI's post make me laugh out loud! Takes a lot of guts to share a story like that but I can relate. Putting all the pressure I could on a single sided fresh razor blade "trying" to cut through an old fuel cap on a diesel tractor. When it went, it really went....clear across my left palm which was strategically placed in the WRONG position. No pain at all until irrigation. Emergency room doctor must have missed sewing class. Stitches unraveled in two days. Glue, tape, and patience.

 

[rhino]

After meeting you briefly, rhino... I can see I got the wrong impression right off.

I thought sure you already knew the difference between trying to conceal knives ON your person versus IN your person.

I see that I was completely mistaken. My bad. I should have gotten the hint when you told me you lose knife fights.

Could I suggest you perhaps do something like joining the SCA so you can acquire and learn how to comfortably wear something resembling full plate armor?? You know, that stuff that has kept folks from being cut like forever and such. Might help in your case...then again, might not. I'm now pretty sure you could figure out how to cut yourself even while in armor, if you tried hard enough.

As your life isn't severely threatened, I suggest you just rub some dirt in it and shake it off as per the old INGO adage.

At this point, I'm running out of dirt. The armor idea has potential!

Apparently, the lessons didn't take. Rhino in his younger years.

Indeed!

After having a couple of stressful days, this thread has made me laugh hard.

I am happy now

Glad to be of service to a Ginger!

45 hours later. They're still laughing.
We are having a weenie roast and marshmallow burning right now, and the neighbor kids weren't here five minutes before my kids were telling the story.
The whole world knows.

I knew I could count on you, sir!

Rhino's totin' chip has been confetti for years.

This begs the question: had rhino been allowed to be a Boy Scout and learned proper knife safety as a wee lad (okay, not wee, but a lad nonetheless), might this litany of mistakes have been avoided?

I dare say it's possible!

I am truly sorry for your experience, but BehindBlueI's post make me laugh out loud! Takes a lot of guts to share a story like that but I can relate. Putting all the pressure I could on a single sided fresh razor blade "trying" to cut through an old fuel cap on a diesel tractor. When it went, it really went....clear across my left palm which was strategically placed in the WRONG position. No pain at all until irrigation. Emergency room doctor must have missed sewing class. Stitches unraveled in two days. Glue, tape, and patience.

I feel your pain, sir! At least your intent was to accomplish a useful task. My incident was full-on dumba**ery from the start!

 

[ModernGunner]

I know I'm coming late to the conversation on this one, but first off to rhino for being open and honest about the incident(s), and his acceptance of his own errors causing them. A valuable lesson for us all.

That said, in that same spirit of openness, I've went out, and at great expense and personal effort, bought rhino a present for next Christmas:



Had a hell of a time getting it off the guy wearing it...

 

[MadBomber]

I just had to see for myself.

 

[Barry in IN]

Rhino, you should cover that with something. I have a suggestion:


ETA- I can't belive this wasn't posted already. Sometimes you have to do things yourself. Not often, but sometimes.