Newly married buddy MUST sell his guns according to his new wife

[thunderchicken]

I kinda understand his delima but I don't know how it was never discussed or he didn't get some gut feeling there was a issue.
When my wife and I married she knew I had a handful of guns. Heck, I was a court deputy for the Sheriffs dept at the time. But once married she started spazing out about "you have too many guns, who needs all of those". So I simply reminded her, I had these things when we met, she knew I had them and she made the commitment to me just as I committed to her. It's part of who I am and nothing has changed, she will not force me to give up things, traditions that I hold dear. Likewise I wouldn't do that to her and she needed to decide if she is as committed now as she was when we were dating, and if not so be it. That worked for me. From the outside looking in it seems your buddy needs to ask the new wife about her commitment to him and accepting who he is. And, that they will both always have some interest's that the other person won't enjoy and that is ok. But they need to accpet these things and not make demands.

 

[nakinate]

Marriage shouldn't be 50%-50%. It should be 100%-100%, with each spouse willing to give up everything for the other, never demanding that the other kick in their percentage.

 

[femurphy77]

If the buddy gives in her next directive to him will be to turn the handle on the vice that he has placed his balls in when succumbed to her disarm order.

Ditch the *****!

My ex wife asked me what would happen if she ever made me chose between her and the racecar.


I've still got the racecar.

 

[Libertarian01]

Just my .

First, the oath was taken by two (2), not just one (1). Ergo, the door swings both ways.

I would give the following humble advice. Agree to get rid of the guns at a set time in the future, IF AND ONLY IF she is willing to go to marital counseling first for a minimum of three (3) monthes to try to work out this disagreement first. Because if she is demanding that he make a step toward her she must be willing also to make a step toward him.

My goal by the way isn't to keep the guns, but rather to fully understand her irrational and illogical behavior about keeping silent on this issue until she thinks it is too late, because it is never too late. This kind of behavior isn't about the guns at all, it is about ego or control, and that is something that a counselor needs to get to or else divorce is inevitable.

Respectfully,

Doug

 

[thunderchicken]

My ex wife asked me what would happen if she ever made me chose between her and the racecar.


I've still got the racecar.[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah then there is that...again she knew when she married me who I am and what I do. She has been understanding of my passion for racing..and guns. But has expressed that she never realized how much time it would consume. Thankfully she has learned to deal with it and we both capitalize on the time we do spend together. Been together 16yrs and counting. I'll be keeping the guns and my racecar

 

[thunderchicken]

Just my .

First, the oath was taken by two (2), not just one (1). Ergo, the door swings both ways.

I would give the following humble advice. Agree to get rid of the guns at a set time in the future, IF AND ONLY IF she is willing to go to marital counseling first for a minimum of three (3) monthes to try to work out this disagreement first. Because if she is demanding that he make a step toward her she must be willing also to make a step toward him.

My goal by the way isn't to keep the guns, but rather to fully understand her irrational and illogical behavior about keeping silent on this issue until she thinks it is too late, because it is never too late. This kind of behavior isn't about the guns at all, it is about ego or control, and that is something that a counselor needs to get to or else divorce is inevitable.

Respectfully,

Doug

Good idea so long as the counselor isn't in a position to push their agenda. If the counselor isn't fully neutral then someone is going to feel ambushed and could make things worse

 

[printcraft]

 

[stocknup]

Trump winning has to be a factor in there somewhere ........or at the very least , the Russians .

 

[chocktaw2]

Boat accidents happen every day.

 

[HubertGummer]

I have a feeling that she's a diabolical *****.
I'll hold his guns for him so he'll have them when she's done her evil and disappeared.

As a friend, this is probably the best thing you can do for him...especially if he has some rare/sentimental guns that would be impossible to replace.

Me, I'd tell her I'm not getting rid of them, period.....and hang on for the ride.

 

[HoughMade]

[video=youtube;UtxxwcQ20Fw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtxxwcQ20Fw[/video]

 

[churchmouse]

Marriage shouldn't be 50%-50%. It should be 100%-100%, with each spouse willing to give up everything for the other, never demanding that the other kick in their percentage.

Well........if she knew who he was before the ring exchange that is who she accepted not her idea of new and improved in her eyes.

JMHO of course.

 

[churchmouse]

My ex wife asked me what would happen if she ever made me chose between her and the racecar.


I've still got the racecar.

Oh yeah then there is that...again she knew when she married me who I am and what I do. She has been understanding of my passion for racing..and guns. But has expressed that she never realized how much time it would consume. Thankfully she has learned to deal with it and we both capitalize on the time we do spend together. Been together 16yrs and counting. I'll be keeping the guns and my racecar[/QUOTE]






My darling spouse was not fully aware of the depth my passion for cars could reach.
She knew I had a few guns and we talked about them at length. Her family was staunch anti's when we met. Now they have all been to the range with me enough that I trust them in ownership.
The car thing did take some time and adjustments from her but she never put it to me the way the subject of the OP has received it.
I got her involved. Her 1st ride on a real motorcycle was behind me. She was hooked. Owned her own Dyna Wide Glide for a few years.
Yes, 100% 100% as stated already but.........there is a process.

My spouse has actually helped me in my passion. Never balking when we decided to embark on another project as she knew I would sell it if things got rough. They have and I did on more than 1 occasion. But that was my choice to make not hers to impose. If she asked we would discuss and a compromise would be reached.
That is partnership. IMHO.

 

[bigretic]

so i'm flipping through the depressed lunacy of the first page of this thread (not logged in) and I notice the advertisements... what the heck kind of AI comes up with that selection? Check out the 3rd one.
Had to screen shot it... lmao.
View attachment 53871

 

[mtinner]

Call her bluff, and if it's not a bluff, be nice and help her pack her bags.

 

[pute62]

Boat accidents happen every day.

That's how Robert Wagner played it. Lol

 

[2A_Tom]

Definitely counseling.

I do not believe in divorce. This was an ambush, a planned attack. Counseling must begin ASAP.

 

[teddy12b]

Is it a real marriage if one of the people entered into the marriage by way of deception, and is now making demands and ultimatums? Not saying that this is the case for this guy, but it happens frequently.

No, if it's deceptive then it's not real.

 

[BGDave]

I'm gonna go with this. Just wondered, what was the "or else" part of this ultimatum? And does your friend have no thumbs, or what.

 

[Bfish]

This. But to cave is foolish and setting him up for a lifetime of misery. Try another way to address her fears. "Sorry babe, they stay. Would you feel better if ... [I bought a safe / we went to training together / etc]."

-rvb

I'm just quoting RVB here because there were a couple of posts that were very good, but this I feel like puts it in the best perspective and deserves repeated.