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Newly married buddy MUST sell his guns according to his new wife
- Thread starter halfmileharry
- Start date
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Not if he sells them to the OP first. (and maybe they are subsequently lost in a boating accident)
Another vote for counseling to address the 180* turn. You dont go along to get along and then within 90 days of the wedding make drastic ultimatums. That right there is the behavior of a manipulative psychopath. Whats next? Isolating him from his friends? Deciding he cant go play quarter/hand poker w the guys friday nights like he's always done since before they met? Etc.
....err.....um...wait wut? 
Spear Dane
Grandmaster
Wow. There are depths to Amazon I didn't know existed. Interesting ones too. From an academic standpoint you understand.
Not if they were his before the rings were exchanged.
Boat accidents happen every day.
Yup! Take the spouse boating!
myhightechsec
Sharpshooter
There could be a dozen potential root causes for the wife's behaviour. The demand to get rid of the guns is merely the symptom... not the cause. If you treat the symptom only, the root cause still remains to jack up the marriage in the future. Right now it is a time-bomb that can go off at any time over any subject or issue.
Assuming that you love your wife enough to want to stay together, then finding that cause is imperative. Communication and trust in a marriage has to work both ways.
If she is not willing to work with you either in heart to heart discussions between the two of you, or in couples-counseling there is not much you can do. A broken marriage can be fixed and renewed but it takes both partners to work at it.
Assuming that you love your wife enough to want to stay together, then finding that cause is imperative. Communication and trust in a marriage has to work both ways.
If she is not willing to work with you either in heart to heart discussions between the two of you, or in couples-counseling there is not much you can do. A broken marriage can be fixed and renewed but it takes both partners to work at it.
I'm in the camp of "the guns were here first, and I'm not getting rid of them. You can do what you feel like you need to do, whether it be get used to them being here or you not being here, but they aren't going anywhere. And neither am I." I do think a good safe to which she does not have access would be a good idea, or putting them in safe keeping with a friend who has such a safe, and whom she does not know.
They both took vows. If she's going back on hers, that's not on him. OTOH, if she has lawful residence/ownership in the house, she has the authority to sell anything in there, I think. I welcome correction if I'm mistaken. But either way, yes, this is not her last demand unless he MAKES it her last demand, by not giving in or by her choosing to leave.
Can't stand a manipulative, deceitful person. Of either gender.
On another topic, Thank you, bigretic, for screenshotting that image. I'll let texkev know so he can make the necessary adjustments. For others, if you see something like that, please screenshot and let the staff know. This is a family-friendly site, and we don't want ads like that, that are out of our sight and beyond our personal control.
Blessings,
Bill
They both took vows. If she's going back on hers, that's not on him. OTOH, if she has lawful residence/ownership in the house, she has the authority to sell anything in there, I think. I welcome correction if I'm mistaken. But either way, yes, this is not her last demand unless he MAKES it her last demand, by not giving in or by her choosing to leave.
Can't stand a manipulative, deceitful person. Of either gender.
On another topic, Thank you, bigretic, for screenshotting that image. I'll let texkev know so he can make the necessary adjustments. For others, if you see something like that, please screenshot and let the staff know. This is a family-friendly site, and we don't want ads like that, that are out of our sight and beyond our personal control.
Blessings,
Bill
This is why it pays to think strictly above the neck instead of below the waist.
My wife is someone who (for reasons I won't divulge here) many would think would be the most likely to object to a gun in the house, yet she is rational enough (and yeah, she loves me enough) to realize that my guns pose no threat to anyone except for any goblin who should attempt to invade the house or try to harm either of us.
My wife is someone who (for reasons I won't divulge here) many would think would be the most likely to object to a gun in the house, yet she is rational enough (and yeah, she loves me enough) to realize that my guns pose no threat to anyone except for any goblin who should attempt to invade the house or try to harm either of us.
jgressley2003
Expert
Surely there was warning signs of this happening before they got married. If she made a complete switch then I'd say see ya later, otherwise his life will be miserable. Guess they could try counseling, but how long will it be before she starts demanding again?
That truly sucks. Well, it may take a while but I'm sure she'll get over you.
littletommy
Grandmaster
That's awful! It made me laugh, but awful.....
Thunderchicken had the best response.
My wife kvetched about my old Chevy 4x4 till I got sick of it and practically gave it away.
Then she started on my t bird. That's when she got told that I'd have that t bird long after she was gone if she kept it up.
We did marriage counseling for YEARS. And I mean before we were married. Eventually it came down to (paraphrasing) I yam what I yam. (Quoting Popeye.) Decide once and for all if you can live with it, and act accordingly. But if you can't, leave now. And for the love of God, STOP *****ING!
There was, of course, lots more to it than that, but that was the gist of it.
Within the last year I've come to feel that she occasionally actually appreciates me.
It's a process .
In hindsight, I wish I'd cut to the chase from the start. Things may have gone differently, but we'd both have avoided a lot of grief.
My wife kvetched about my old Chevy 4x4 till I got sick of it and practically gave it away.
Then she started on my t bird. That's when she got told that I'd have that t bird long after she was gone if she kept it up.
We did marriage counseling for YEARS. And I mean before we were married. Eventually it came down to (paraphrasing) I yam what I yam. (Quoting Popeye.) Decide once and for all if you can live with it, and act accordingly. But if you can't, leave now. And for the love of God, STOP *****ING!
There was, of course, lots more to it than that, but that was the gist of it.
Within the last year I've come to feel that she occasionally actually appreciates me.
It's a process .
In hindsight, I wish I'd cut to the chase from the start. Things may have gone differently, but we'd both have avoided a lot of grief.
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Slawburger
Master
As his friend the best you can offer is:
1) Offer to buy the guns for a nominal sum and agree to sell them back for the same amount when requested. This gives him an option for safe storage while they work things out and eliminates any legal claim to ownership by his wife.
2) Continue to be his friend
If she knew he owned firearms before the marriage then it is disingenuous for her to be upset about it now. It sounds like just the first in a long string of power plays and emotional blackmail. If she honestly wants to continue the marriage then sometimes a counselor can teach couples how to "fight fair" (really, that's a counseling thing).
Maybe she is just insecure and is trying to force him into doing something he doesn't want to do to prove he loves her (the opposite of fighting fair). If he loves her then maybe he can find a way to meet her emotional security needs without compromising his core (giving up something important to him unnecessarily). I wouldn't give up my firearms but I might agree to spend more time with her or balance future expenditures.
Of course, if she isn't willing to work honestly on the marriage (without the emotional blackmail) then it might be best to cut the anchor rope to save the ship from the storm.
1) Offer to buy the guns for a nominal sum and agree to sell them back for the same amount when requested. This gives him an option for safe storage while they work things out and eliminates any legal claim to ownership by his wife.
2) Continue to be his friend
If she knew he owned firearms before the marriage then it is disingenuous for her to be upset about it now. It sounds like just the first in a long string of power plays and emotional blackmail. If she honestly wants to continue the marriage then sometimes a counselor can teach couples how to "fight fair" (really, that's a counseling thing).
Maybe she is just insecure and is trying to force him into doing something he doesn't want to do to prove he loves her (the opposite of fighting fair). If he loves her then maybe he can find a way to meet her emotional security needs without compromising his core (giving up something important to him unnecessarily). I wouldn't give up my firearms but I might agree to spend more time with her or balance future expenditures.
Of course, if she isn't willing to work honestly on the marriage (without the emotional blackmail) then it might be best to cut the anchor rope to save the ship from the storm.
